Jane Eyre

I decided for my 5th and final "must read" for 30 before 30 to read Jane Eyre. It's one of my bestest buds, Alisa's, favorite books. She likes a lot of books but this is up there on her list, and I haven't read it. I have to say...I have mixed feelings about it. Not that I don't love Jane- I totally do! She's such a good and rightoues person- she's seems very real and still flawed (great character work by Charlotte Bronte honestly) but striving for excellence and knows what's most important (God's opinion). However, I don't like the love story/ies in it at all. All the men just boss her around. Mr. Rochester, in my opinion, is a liar and decietful little jerk. He allowed her to fall in love with him while being married and specifically lied to her about it. He asked her to cover up events for him as well to save his skin! Now, I know (as the book says) that he felt trapped in his situation, but oh my heavens! On your wedding day you lie? And she got back together with him? Hello?! He also calls her names that are apparently teasing in the book, but I don't think mean names like "brat" etc should ever be used. I like nice names like sweetie etc., but...I don't kow. That's the only real character flaw I saw in her~ marrying this stupid man! At no time does Jane seem like a victim, though many terrible things happen to her, and I love her strength, but she sure lets people walk all over her and manipulate her. It's only when things kinda get down to the wire with people does she really take a stand. Anyway, I really did enjoy the book. I loved it's religious foundations. I just hated the men in it hahahha! (no I'm not normally a man hater =).

Africa what I learned- (#7 Kwahari/ goodbye to Africa posts-don't get too excited)

So this post is mainly for me- just some lessons learned and sentimental things…nothing over the top too deep (since yes I’m still trying to figure out how to go private with this blog..?) Anyway, a couple good reflection/learning moments. You all know I’m long winded so I don’t expect others to read this massive post hahaha and most of the pictures in this post (minus the little girls) aren't related to the stories they are next too. I just got a picture of each SHe member and they are in alphabetical order on here =)

~ While Rinda and I were teaching the hygiene and diet class, we discussed the signs of dehydration and the importance of “how much water you need per day”. Rinda said some amount ( I cant’ remember exact…I should ask her hahah like 2 liters per adult and 1 per day for kids) for drinking alone. After the second class we taught, I kinda started feeling uncomfortable with that. I told Rinda “You know what? I don’t know if we should say that much because really they probably don’t have access to that each day and I bet some of them might panic thinking they can’t get enough for their kids?” Rinda, in her wisdom, said, “Yea that may be hard for them to hear, but we're still required to tell them what is healthy, and that’s what is considered healthy." Point taken! That was our job. Sometimes, admittedly, it’s hard for me to just tell it like it is if I think I might offend someone, but that was our job in this case. We weren’t trying to make them feel good or bad about their health. We were simply stating “Hey- this is what you need.” End of story. It’s pretty factual ya know? Not that someone’s going to die if they don’t have that much water every day, but to stay well hydrated and healthy, that really is a regular required amount. I reflected on that in different ways. Oh Rinda- so wise and good =)

~Heidi and I went home from the hospital one day to make everyone in the medical groups lunches (many of them didn’t have the time to come back to the school to eat so we’d make them sandwiches). We rarely went or walked anywhere alone as girls, but we’d been there a few days and knew our way and felt safe (and were so you don’t have to think that’s what this post is about). While walking three little girls starting following us. We stopped and tried to talk to them, but they’d giggle and run away. One little girl kept running up and wiggling her loose tooth at us and then running away. They didn’t actually speak to us those cute girls. Anyway, we just kept walking and they followed us in different groups etc. for a few days. Finally after a couple they just showed up at the school (still wiggling her tooth- I never got to see it fall out) and played with us. They sang and danced with us. They can dance really well too. Super cute. I thought about how little kids are so friendly, shy maybe with strangers, but just friendly. Little children seem to like people (as opposed to some adults who I wonder why they ever leave their house if they are going to interact with others the way they do). They are curious and fun. They are excited about the “little” things like a loose tooth. Just a cute memory.

~Coming home from the hospital one day, some of us stopped to get sodas (Pete treated- love that guy! He rocks and not just because he wouldn’t let me pay him back) and per usual, unless you want to pay a pretty hefty “down payment” (over twice the cost of the drink- yeah outrages though small drinks were 20 shillings which is like 3 US cents so…perepective here), you can’t take the bottle too far from the store. We stopped and had a lot of Fanta (I’ve had orange and grape in the states but never pineapple and I gotta say it’s my favorite!). Now we did look to see if they had a Diet for Sheila because we knew she was dying for one (they didn’t) and we looked for a Coke for Curtis. Well we found the mother of all Cokes- a huge glass liter bottle of Coke of awesomeness. We all instantly said “We have to get this for Curt! He’ll die”. Now, most of us don’t even drink soda on a regular basis, I certainly don’t, but here’s it’s safe to drink and usually the coldest thing you can get. Curt is the same way and allows himself to drink Coke when he’s out of the USA (he’s lived all over the world actually). We knew he would like it. We did help chip in (by paying Pete later- he let me do that) and surprised him with this Coke. Curt was really happy and in fact he hugged me even the next two days after and said, “you guys are great. Thanks so much for getting me that.” Not that he cried or was emotional about it, but I could tell he genuinely appreciated the thought and he didn’t just thank us or me once- he kept thanking us. It was a little thing, but it was a nice thing that we could do and I’m glad we did. He kept the bottle (we knew he would and we didn’t mind) so there went our deposit haha but it was well worth it!


Reed, Bill and I walked to see the “Kinango Hard of Hearing” school. One of the boys from the school took us and was our tour guide. Now on this entire trip, sometimes little kids would run up to us or follow us around etc. There’d been the little girls (mentioned above) who wouldn’t at first talk to us but just followed us. With these little boys, we’d smile and watch them and they’d watch us, but honestly I didn’t go over and speak to them. After a few minutes, Reed stopped. He turned around and walked up to them. He shook each little boys hand and asked their names and then took pictures with them (well I took the photos while he was in them with each boy). After that the boys ran away and stopped following us. I thought, “They just wanted sincere acknowledgment. They didn’t want to play. They weren’t beggars (I didn’t see any in Kinango). They just wanted to be acknowledged.” I hadn’t been mean to them. I had smiled at them. I saw them and was aware of them, but I kinda assumed they were like the little girls and would run away so I didn’t even try with these little boys. It just taught me a lesson in judging but also in just taken a few minutes to really stop and acknowledge people. I think the world of Reed for this one simple experience (for others too but this alone).



~I spent quite a bit of time talking with Angela because she slept directly to my right. She got eaten alive and looked like someone had beat her to death by the end (yes she apparently did use bug spray- she just has sugar instead of blood I don’t know). She was the youngest in our group- turned 23 while in Kingango. She was having a hard time “getting old” and knew “it’s stupid” because she was the youngest of us all, but I totally understood her! I remember leaving BYU at 22 and feeling “Oh my heavens! I’m 22 and not married! I’m old”. I really wasn’t obviously, but at that place and point in life, not having a clear cut plan of what was next, I felt it. Mainly I was nervous I think to be in the work force or go to graduate school and be a “real” adult. I’ve had several of those moments even since then (yeah- buying a house!). Anyway, I started telling her how much I loved being 23 (I wasn’t lying either- it’s a year I’d for sure repeat) and how this is a great time of life. A couple people who slept around us told me later I should be a motivational speaker, but I don’t do big group public speaking well hahah. It was great to just talk to her. I honestly do remember how that time of life felt. It was interesting being on “the other side” of that and realizing how grateful I am for the older, wiser people, who said similar things to get me at that point to help me through. It just felt like a full circle moment (circle of life…it moves us all haha) or ...a 20/20 hindsight is clearer moment for my past, and it helped me put in perspective my present a little bit more (in a more complex way). I love cute Angela. She’s seriously just the sweetest! She can rock the ukulele too.

~While teaching/ talking to the older girls, we had a break in between classes. The girls said they didn't want a break and just wanted to talk (grill/ humble) to me. They asked me about "university" and how difficult it is and about dating and life in America. They asked me about how much money I make (I told them that was rude to ask in America and their reply was, "Well we're asking you here!") ....in Kenyan shillings I'm a millionaire! That's crazy. They asked me how much my watch cost. I said, "I can't remember. It's old." I meant it was "old" as in "I bought it years ago and honestly can't remember". One girl said, "How can you say that's old?! It's all leather! It's very nice!" I clarified myself, but they seemed unsatisfied. Then one girl asked me, "What is your biggest challenge?" Well...at this point I'd been in Africa almost two weeks....I couldn't think of anything! My mind was completely blank and in that moment  and even though I didn't, I really could've cried. I know I'm not the most appreciative or grateful for the blessings I have. I know I complain or get frustrated over silly and unimportant things. Here I was in a place where they don't have shoes, they don't have potable water from taps or from a drinking fountain on demand, they don't have electricity in many places. They sleep under mosquito nets and on pads the same thickness as just my 'camping' mat....and yet...they are incredibly happy and content! Thank goodness that Joanne rang the bell for classes to switch, but I was admittedly very shaken. I've thought a lot about "What's my biggest challenge" since then... answers are too personal for posting, but they have nothing to do with "things".

~ Our testimony meeting the last Sunday was amazing but I was crying to much through it to feel like I would've been coherent had I gotten up to speak. I did have a little "Mini" thought/testimony session with Rinda and Susan after. One thing I realized was that I don't know how to say "Please" in Kiswahli! Why? Well..because I never had to ask for anything. I felt like people were constantly buzzing around just giving me things and assisting me all the time. One prime example was our drive home from Kinango. I started to feel car sick. Heidi looked at me and said, "You don't look too good." I said, "I don't feel too good." She (without me saying anything) said, "Hey Ben switch Natalie places she's not feeling well." Without a word, he moved from the middle seat of the van to take my place in the back and I moved up front.  A few minutes later Danielle said, "Are you doin' alright?" Me, "Ummm not really I think I'm gonna throw up". Danielle said, "George pull over!" He pulls over and Danielle jumps out. She proceeds to walk to the other vans (who had to stop for us sadly sorry guys- Reed told me after he's glad I didn't actually throw up because he didn't want that to be his last memory of me hahah) and get medication for me." I commented, "Oh shoot! I don't have any shoes" (it was muddy). What gets thrown up instantly from the back? Ben's sandals! I put those on while I'm dry heaving. Amman gets out of the front and moves to the middle seat I was in. I feel ok to get back on the road, so I get in the front passenger seat. Danielle hands me medicines and Rinda says, "Do you need some water for that?" and hands it over. No where in that entire interaction did I say much or do much. I was just taken care of. I felt like that the entire time! I am so grateful for all of them. They were all amazing examples of serving without even having to be asked. Thanks guys! I'm glad I didn't throw up as well haha.

~On the plane ride home, I spent a lot of time talking to Andy, which I wouldn’t have guess could’ve happened until it did since he’d been more shy and quiet in the group. He was sitting next to a good Christian man who was returning from Africa after having built some water systems. The guy ignored us and listened to his book and music and videos (with custom made earphones- way to go audiology!), but Andy had chatted with him a bit and he was obliging for me (not really supposed t be sitting there) getting up etc etc. Nice man. Anyway, we were discussing a variety of topics, church stuff, dating things, funny stories etc and especially Africa and life there. He made a statement, almost in passing that I thought a lot about afterwards. He said, “I’m not perfect at all and I know it, but I really want to be good." I knew he meant it. It’s in his heart to be a good person and a righteous Priesthood holder. It was humbly said and meant, but powerfully impacting on me. I cannot say enough of how I felt about all the people on this trip- the goodness I felt from all of them- guys and girls. I felt like I was in with the elite ya know? Even in their life at home we had lawyers, doctors,engineers, teachers, government people “who can’t talk about what they do (~ I know it’s a conspiracy Cammi!) and even a nuclear specialist! Sheesh ya know? We had a dentist, an optometrist, a physical therapist, a speech therapist, a recreational therapist, an occupational therapist etc etc. I mean we had people who in the USA are kinda big deal (a couple guy who work for the Federal Reserve too…I never did but occasionally I wanted to say, “Shouldn’t you guys be at home fixing things?” Hahah). But here all of us were just loving people and taking the time off of “real life” to sit and talk to the kiddos in Africa ya know? It was refreshing to do it and relaxing as well, but also, I just felt like this group of people meant it. They wanted to be here to serve. They wanted to “be good” and do good. It’s about our hearts desires and our striving for obedience and service that really matter- not whether or not we get everything right.

~I was in Africa for the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. We were driving back from Kinango and on a ferry and I was leaning out the window (following the sick experience previously mentioned). The car next to us on the ferry had their windows down and it just so happened to have on a radio talk show wtih people discussing Sept.11th. Let's just say most of it was negative and anti-American/ anti-Bush. I have certainly thought about how others may see that experience, I know my view point is skewed, but I'd never heard it being "preached" that way....For me, it was a more solemn moment and once again, though I didn't, I could've cried. I still remember where I was the moment it happened and how the days and weeks were following it. It's interesting how the other side was also impacted (obviously I knew they were) and how some people can celebrate the hardships of others. I felt like that when we were celebrating Osama bin Laden's death (I had a very interesting and long discussion with Bill and Andreas, who is from Germany, about bin Laden's death...I also gained perspective from that later this same night)- not that it wasn't a good thing for a lot of people or that bad men shouldn't fall, but I don't necessarily think people should be singing in the streets like that.  I think it's a more solemn occasion though perhaps necessary. I didn't feel like it was a time to rejoice because I honestly knew somewhere else in the world, someone was mourning even though lots of people were happy. I felt that way the same day. Here those people were next to a van full of people who felt exactly the opposite of what they felt... We all have our own perceptions....and thank goodness we're all still children of our Heavenly Father. He'll fix both sides in the end (and honestly- I think the 'truth' of it all is somewhere in the middle).

~I had lots of awesome conversations with people in the group- very deep ones, very funny/ silly ones and about pretty much any topic (some were unexpected haha) . I talked to several of the natives about their families and their lives. You know what? We’re all the same. I know we all say we know that, but sometimes I don’t “really” know that. I mean we really are! We all fundamentally want the same thing no matter whether we live in a dung hut or my almost 2000 square foot home. We all want to be happy, secure, and have a love with a family. And also- a connection to “something higher” or as I would say, Heavenly Father. The biggest deal to everyone was over there was our marital status and then other religious topics (do you believe in Christ- yes I do!). They are very close to their families and the Lord, and it was nice to see. It was nice to see that faith was such a part of their life! I mean even if you aren’t Muslim, the call to prayer every morning reminded us all to pray in the morning in whatever way you do it. I loved going somewhere half a world a way and really realizing that fundamentally we all really want the same things and thankfully they are the things that really matter.

~Biggest lesson- gratitude for the countless blessings I have (I do try to count them regularly- I’ve never hit a spot where I couldn’t keep going but eventually I stop) and to take time to honestly connect and love those around me. The strangers around me matter too!

So...thank you to:
Amman, Andrew, Andreas, Andy, Angela, April, Ben, Bill, Brandon, Cammi, Colleen, Curtis, Dallin, Danielle from Alaska, Danielle from California, Dave, Elizabeth, Emily, Heidi, Jane, Jeni, Jessica, Juanita, Julie, Lindsay, Lisa, Loren, Matt, Meghann, Pete, Rachel, Reed, Rinda, Sheila, Scott, Seth, Sinoui, Staci, Stephanie, Susan, Todd, Wayne all SHe members. Also thanks to Joanna, Mama Rita, Stanley, Fred, Sudi and all the drivers, cooks, headmasters, teachers and anyone who helped make this experience unforgettable for me =)



Joanne obviously not a SHe member
but one of our CHOICE leaders =)





Fun times and farewell (Africa #6)

OK some fun times (if I haven't shared already) and things I love...

~We asked for bikes to ride one morning...we should've been more specific (though someone did say we wouldn't have gotten bikes then haha). Probably the most dangerous thing we did (yes i know we spent time with lions but this rivals that) was ride these bikes through the village. The one I had needed almost ten minutes of repair because the seat was too high (easier fix) and the front brakes were permanently stuck with the cables wrapped in all sorts of crazy ways. Thank you so much Dave and Todd for spending your own riding time to fix my bike (I didn't even have to ask again...they just did! Great great guys!) After that I could only use the back brakes, but I had it pretty good comparatively. A lot of people didn't have pedals- well- they had a bar to push on. I don't know of anyone who had both front and back brakes and more than one person who had no brakes at all. A few bikes weren't "trued" so some people had to weave their way around (watch out!!! hahah) A couple people had chain problems- aka they would hold their chain on or stop periodically to put it back on. Anyway, it was pretty funny to see 22 of us riding through town. Their roads aren't paved and though fairly even have random bumps etc. Only one injury (I'm aware of) poor Pete, who seemed accident prone the entire trip, ate it almost the first five minutes in. He manned up and kept riding though. We opted out of taking the big hill not for the intimidation of getting up, but the pressure and worry about not getting down without getting injured!

Meghann asked me straight out on our bike ride
if i was "workin' it with her brother"
I love this girl! 

~We played random games at night- like family feud and fruit basket. Someone said they thought I was the biggest girl flirt but I wasn't in the top 5 (I flirt but not so blatantly). I had to "flirt" with Scott and show my skills to get our team and extra 10 points. Jeni had to flirt with Sinoui to get her team points as well. Loren and Matt got biggest flirts and yes I voted for them. Other fun questions were what's your favorite thing to do here- showering was #1. How many people have you kissed- #1 answer was "none of your business" (yea Curt and Julie! Scott also tried to get me to confess my # and he got close but in the end I held strong haha). Fruit basket was entertaining to learn what people have and haven't done. I'm surprised 3 guys have been arrested and spent a night in jail....I still need to hear complete stories about that... I also still NEED to know who peed in what showers stalls (fruit basket statement- "I have peed in the showers in Kinango"), but am forever grateful I always wore my flip flops while standing there! So gross but no one was confessing in that much detail.

tire shoes- yes- made out of tires
though not same tread haha-
for my bro

~We had a dance party the last night in the village. Most of the guys danced with their mosquito nets. Yes, we sang and danced to Toto's "Africa" Song...that was a fun time I'll never forget either =). I LOVE all the people I was with! We had such a good time. Some of the kitchen staff even came and danced with us.

~I really loved just sitting and talking with people- Kenyans and SHe members. I loved taking a nap and listening to the rain outside (and watch Ben enjoy Rinda's bed haha).
~I loved quick moments to read and Andrew (not to be confused with Andy though I love Andy too) who let me borrow his iPad (the one from China which is smaller than the USA iPad but bigger than an iPHone...it was perfect size I think and I may request he send me one...) to read a book. I read, "Ask me why I hurt" by Dr. Randy Christensen (sad book).

~I loved taking walks on the beach and bonding with Cami about boys hahah and Ben about all things random =)
~I loved that the power went out the last night at our hotel and none of us cared but actually liked it (hey we all still had our headlamps hahah plus it made it romantic and 4- 5 couples hooked up that last night- told ya that hotel was romantic- whoowhoo).
~I loved how, while hiking and walking etc., the guys in the group would help me up and down the rocks- chivalry!
~I loved that the cakes over there are incredibly dry, but we figured out to pour a little orange/mango or whatever juice on it just to help moisten it, it tastes much better.

~ I loved standing outside the last night watching the storm and seeing the ocean and the moon.
~I loved being crammed into ghetto vans and riding over ridiculous roads.
~I loved seeing people reading their scriptures when they didn't know anyone else was wacthing.
~I loved when I found a rhino beetle on my mosquito net and Dallin took care of it for me.
~I loved seeing the guys invent creative ways to catch a bat (they tried but...eventually it flew out on it's own).
~I loved how happy the people are
~I love the sand of the Indian ocean!

~I loved that I fell asleep at the pool and had asked for people not to leave me there without waking me up- I'd periodically wake up to a different SHe member sitting next to me- they didn't leave me!
~I loved that Africa time is really no time and when you'd call for room service or what not they would come when they wanted (but it always got fixed hahah).
~I loved church services while singing to a ukulele.
~I loved discussing deep topics with new friends- from religious ones, dating ones, personal tragedy ones etc. I really want to keep in touch with the group and I already have somewhat with a few people.

Coming home...well..it was hard (still hard! I wanna go back!). It was amazing that 19 of us were on the same flight for the longest portion back.  Lindsay and Rachel had to have some of their stuff wrapped that were considered "weapons"....hum...Andy made it on with two huge canes (aka big, heavy, wood sticks) and had no problem...guess it's who you talk to at the airport=). Lindsay, Rachel and I sat across from a well dressed African man- white silk suit! But oh man! He SMELLED!!! I couldn't turn my head to the left to sleep because I would get whiffs when he would move, and I could NOT handle it! You'd think after a couple weeks of the BO smell I wouldn't have minded, but it was bad...it really was! I spent most of my time walking around talking to people from the group. I sat with Andy quite a bit- he talks one-on-one! Ben also let me sleep on him. He and Heidi convinced the person sitting with them (who only spoke French too mind you- you guys have skills) to move so they could have the bench to themselves. Heidi moved for about and hour and a half and Ben was obliging and let me lay out on him (yep- he's a great cuddler ladies!). We had an hour stop in Rome just to refuel. We weren't "de-boarding" but um um...some of kinda did =). Amman, Todd, April and I stood outside on the staircase at the back of the plane. They had switched crews so people came in from the front and back exits of the plane. We didn't get in trouble for standing outside either (still wish I'd run down the stairs, touched Italy's ground and run back up but oh well). The stewardess was nice and just told us to come back inside. It was nice to have fresh air too!

the way home stop in Ethiopia

When we landing in Washington DC we had about a 12 hour layover. Ben, being the fabulously generous guy he is, drove us to see some sites and get some food. We ate at Ray's Hell for burgers- OH MY DELICIOUS MEAT! I hadn't eaten meat in almost two weeks and it was fabulous. (I did feel badly that they only accepted cash and Ben paid for me though I'd offered to cover him for being our tour guide...I will pay him back sneaky like one day!) Rachel has never seen the sites there, and I had not seen the new Martin Luther King Monument. Ben seriously could've been home sleeping (before he had to go to work later that day), but instead he chauffeured us around and made sure we had a good time (I mean seriously can you see the awesomeness of these people on this trip?!). He, Rachel and I also saw the Constitution and Declaration of Independence (no pictures allowed), while Rinda and Susan toured The Capitol Building

When Lindsay, Rachel and I arrived in Vegas, their roommates picked us up. Due to construction we didn't get home till about 3AM our time. Hakuna Matata! And sleeping in a car? I was expert by that point hahah (no I wasn't...I didn't sleep much at all on any of our flights- that's what I get for being social) Our friend, Laura, made this amazing, delicious, and oh bless heaven- MOIST- cake (no juice needed) to welcome us back. So so so cute. Thanks Laura for sharing your mad skills!