My first Father- my Heavenly Father- the Father of my Spirit. I've always had a good relationship with Him. I count it as a gift that I've always known that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me personally. He is the ultimate of Father's, and above all other fathers, my relationship with Him has meant the most to me. He's been incredibly generous with me. He's been patient and kind and forgiving. He's been a real friend to listen and to talk to. I love and appreciate His sacrificing His Son for me. I'm grateful that I have a Father who knows and sees all. AND I'm grateful that He provided me all of the following earthly fathers to bless and guide my life.
My dad. I've had an interesting relationship with my dad. My parents were divorced when I was young, and we did the "every other weekend, every other holiday, one month a summer" kind of arrangement until I was seven. After that, quite honestly, I only saw him a few times and regularly see him till I was older. When I was 21 a series of events led me to the decision to discuss things with my dad about why he hadn't always been there as a 'dad'. My sister and I met with him at a restaurant and had a several hours long, raw and real conversation. I felt he was honest with me, and I accepted his apologies for his absence and imperfection. It was hard to hear, but harder I think to for him to admit, a lot of things he felt and was going through after my parents divorce. As an adult though I understood a lot of it! I could relate to it, and I appreciated his openness and honestly. I finally got to hear from him his story, and I finally really felt forgiveness and closure for his absence.
I honestly felt from that day forward that he and I got a second chance. We started from scratch and have built a very good relationship. I'm grateful he's my dad. I'm grateful I'm getting to know him better. I'm learning a lot from him, and I'm learning a lot of the traits I 'inherited' from him or would like to. I think I can't stand lights being left on because of him hahah. My dad is very hard working- he wakes up between 3-5am everyday and usually goes to bed (if he goes to bed) at 10-11. He's not slacking during his awake time either- to be quite honest I've rarely seen him sitting! He's always helping and serving other people. He's always getting calls of people asking his advice, though when he's hanging out with me he leaves his car in the phone =p. He helped me get my house, and he helps me fix and take care of things around it. He is always asking me if there's anything I need and how I am. We email a lot (both of us are kinda on the go, but we talk on the phone sometimes at like 6am since what the heck we both know we're awake haha). He loves the gospel, and he loves his family. He tries his best and is hard on himself for his shortcomings. He does a much better job than he knows! I really love him! Thanks for all you do dad!
It is also interesting to note that I really started having a relationship with my dad a few years before the man, who had the most 'real' fatherly role in my life, passed away. My dad was actually the first person to be able to get a hold of me and break the news my maternal grandpa passed away. My dad automatically booked me the next flight from Arizona to Salt Lake City and picked me up at the airport to drive me to my grandpa's house. I was crying for that entire drive and my dad was pretty quiet just letting me have my space. All he said during that drive (besides hi, bye and love you) was, "I know how it feels to lose a father." It was simple but meant a lot to me! I knew my dad knew how it felt to lose the man who I admired and looked up too most, so next, I will write about him next.
My grandpa Hafen. My grandpappy is the adult person I have the most and best memories with growing up. My mom went back to school, and when I wasn't yet in school my grandpa would babysit me. I remember him reading to me, playing with me, cooking (trying haha) with me, gardening with me, and mowing the grass with the tractor with me. I remember when we planted and harvested strawberries that I love the most and how he planted at least one purple rose bush in the front and back yards since purple is my favorite color. I remember how he taught me to play checkers. I remember how he taught me about history and all my 'ologies'. I remember him letting me drive illegally at a very young age with all my cousins hahah. I remember how he'd speed up right before the going over a big hill so coming down felt kinda like a roller coaster. I remember him sticking out just one finger for me to grab on to when we would walk around. I remember hours and hours in the library together. I remember when he bought me the white teddy bear I still have (in fact that is one of my first memories in life in general). I remember us discussing anything and everything. He taught me to appreciate my life, the Gospel and the opportunities I have to learn and grow.
When I did start school he would take me and bring me back home. He's the real reason I have an addiction to donuts, cookies and chocolate because we would get a treat pretty much everyday. He was the one who would come to class on my birthday and bring treats and eat with me. He helped me with my reports- I remember my first report ever- I was very stressed out about in first grade. I was assigned the topic of "bees" but who knew my grandpa was an 'expert' in bees and would help me so I didn't have to stress! He called me "precious" and his "can girl" and would let me keep the change we were giving from recycling. He was the person I wanted when I busted my head open on a block and had to get stitches. He was the person I wanted when I knocked my teeth out and had my mouth sewn up. He was the person who helped me inside the house when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. He was always there for me!
As I grew older his opinion of how I should direct my life was invaluable. I would admittedly call on days I knew my grandma was sick so he would answer the phone and have maximum talking time (since my grandma usually talked the most if she was on the phone). He never once asked about my grades or about my 'resume' status. He would say, "Precious, are ya doin' your best?"-- that's what mattered to him (and to me) . He wasn't perfect himself, and I never heard him claim to be. I can honestly say I never felt judged by him for my honest answers to that question of if I was doing my best. He always just loved me as is. When I went to college and he would meet my boyfriends, his opinion, along with one of my sisters, meant absolutely the most. I remember him meeting one of them and saying, "I'm indifferent. I don't not like him but I'm not impressed with him. I think he's good, but I'm neutral" That alone made me really think, and his overwhelming approval of another boyfriend just made me want to marry that boy even more haha. I asked him about keeping balance in life. I asked him about dating, the Gospel and about life in general. He's the only 'adult' I've ever really asked for that type of parental advice from, and it was always always what I needed to hear. When he passed away it was very hard for me, but I had several very spiritual, personal, experiences to let me handle the transition of life "pre and post grandpa being here" more easily. Admittedly, I was devastated to think, "He won't be there for my wedding!" But I have since been reassured in a very personal moment, that he will be there for my wedding =). Love you grandpappy!I would also like to make a special note of those men who were my fathers in high school- that time of life where I specifically know I needed fatherly guidance (and my grandpa was there by phone but lived 8 hours away and sometimes you need someone physically there). I was blessed to have four amazing girls as my best friends in high school (we're still good friends now though life gets crazy and we don't always get to talk). They were nice enough to share with me (even if they didn't always know it) their dads. Most of the time I just had interaction with these fathers in passing when I was visiting their homes, but all those small moments (and some big moments I will mention below) made me so grateful for those four fathers (for blogging purposes only I list them just by first name in alphabetical order and without pictures since I don't know how they would feel about being blogged). I would like to recognize them because I don't know if I really have (sadly) and lately, several events have come up that have pointed out to me how important each of them were for me.
My first dad, Jon, is the one I consider my "spiritual" dad. When he would see me he would ask "What miracle has the Lord done for you today?" Sometimes all I could answer was, "Well, He gave us all green lights on the way to school so we weren't late" or silly things. As I got older I started thinking about that a lot more and purposely trying to see the hand of the Lord in my life on daily basis. One of the most important experiences I had with Jon was at 2am one morning. I was having a very hard time with some things and my friend, Jyl, his daughter, said "Nat- you need to get a blessing!" We were actually down on the Strip for a convention thing and cleaning up etc. things went very late. I started crying and said, "Jyl it's super late! I can't ask anyone to give me a blessing?!" She said, "My dad will! He won't care." So we went to her house and no joke she woke her dad up. He didn't even hesitate but came down and talked with me and gave me a blessing. Next to receiving my patriarchal blessing, that blessing was and has been the greatest I have received! That blessing honestly changed and impacted my life more than he could ever know. After the blessing was over, he kissed the top of my head, told me he loved me and that he considered me one of his own daughter. He then drove me home, and we discussed what the blessing had said. I haven't talked to him (though I have talked to his daughter) in years, honestly, but I still think of him and that blessing. I'm so grateful for him being my 'spiritual" dad in that moment and many others when I needed him!
My second dad was Mark. He was my "how to get your life together and work" kinda dad. He and his family (including my friend Ryann) are seriously some of the happiest people- their whole family- and they are also very successful people. They just have their act together. They live right and treat people right. He'd be coming home in from work and would always say a very happy "Hi Natalie. How are you?" He had two discussions with me over the kitchen counter about finances. They weren't long and drawn out or anything, but I remember him telling me the importance of paying attention to my finances- budgeting and investing. I'm still not great at either, but I remember taking him very seriously. I knew that he knew how to be successful in all areas of life. He also helped me get- no correction- more like he gave me my first job. It was honestly the best first job a high schooler could ask for- I make bank for doing very little and basically sat with two of my friends for five hours haha. I remember visiting him in his office and just feeling so so grateful he gave me that opportunity for growth. It set me more on the path of being responsible for my life and what and where I wanted to be. At his daughter's wedding a few years back, he said his happy "hi" and hugged me. He chatted with me about life and talked about "how grown up" I was- I loved that.
My third dad is the first of the two Scotts. He was my dating advice dad but he also played a big role in pretty much saving me (story to follow). Scott and his family (including my friend, Cherie). are very open about relationships and are big on communicating in relationships, which I had never been good at. He would ask me about the boys I liked and dating, and heaven knows I wasn't great about talking about it, but he brought me out of my shell. I remember one time he told me "Don't date jerks" and honestly I don't think I have. The time I think he was the most like a father to me was when I got in a bad car accident. I was 16 years old, and it was my fault. I had to go to court with my mom to "plead my case" but honestly had no idea what in the world would happen to me or what to do. I knew my mom really didn't either. I remember sitting, just waiting, in the court room for them to call my name. I was seriously scared and was praying hard for some sort of help to know what to do- instant answer- in walks Scott. Scott is a lawyer and his timing could never had been so perfect. He saw me and walked over. I instantly burst into tears, and in what can only be termed word vomit, I told him anything and everything that ever had occurred with this car accident and how I was so afraid I was gonna be throwing in jail and have a criminal record and be changed for life. He told me to calm down and that he would speak to the judge for me. When they called my name, he stood up, walked to the pulpit, told the judge he represented me and what had happened etc. He got me 2 points on my license and traffic school. I didn't even have to pay a fine. I honestly have no idea what would've /could've happened had he not been there. I'm sure it wouldn't have been as bad as I was imagining, but i guarantee that without him it probably would've been worse, and I know there was no way I could've felt as secure and reassured that things would be ok. He never even brought it up again except once to ask if I was "ever gonna get back behind the wheel". Admittedly, I was very shaken after that accident and rarely drove. I ended up turning in my license so I could be taken off my mom's car insurance. I recently saw Scott while preparing for a bridal shower at his home. We talked quite a lot- he asked me about dating hahah- and we reminisced about old times- he hasn't changed a bit.
My fourth dad is the second of the two Scotts. He's my "fun" dad. His whole family, including his daughter, Tami, never fail to entertain me. They are so so so funny! They used to play a game in the car of naming songs or the artist who sings them. I was always worse than Scott and his daughter in this game. This Scott always teased me, but it was always in a fun way and a way that made me feel included in his home. He took Tami and I to San Diego one time, and it was so much fun. I also remember when he "fathered" me again. I called him (and his wife who is super hilarious too) because I ran out of gas an hour outside of Vegas. I didn't know at the time that my car's gas gauge wouldn't work for a few days if the weather shifted dramatically (this experience and one other taught me that haha). I was headed back from college to home for some event and couldn't get a hold of my mom or Tami. I called Scott, told him my location, and that I was out of gas. Without hesitation, he said he'd come. After putting in some gas, told me he had purchased the red gas jug just for me, and that I should leave it in my car (it's in my new car now Scott!) just in case I "ever let this happen again"- hahah. I was honestly super bugged with myself and the situation, but he helped me laugh it off. He helped me smile and laugh on more days than he can know. I also just saw him at a wedding, and we laughed and mocked some crazy people and situations together- good good times =)
So there's my Father's Day post to my fathers =). I know that fathers make a difference, and I'm thankful for those men who have made one in my life.
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